Your Kids Don't Need a Better Mom

Wednesday, June 5, 2019
A young mom holder her infant



It’s hard to be a good mom in 2019.

I imagine it has always been hard to be a good mom. But today there is pressure that I know our mothers never felt. Pressure to throw Pinterest-worthy birthday parties that are a far cry from the plastic pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey and boxed cake mixes of my youth. Pressure to be constantly present and emotionally available even though nobody is emotionally available every second of the day.  Pressure to have pristine homes, and healthy trash-free lunches, and natural handmade toys.
It is so easy to start feeling inadequate. To feel like we aren’t good enough.

Sometimes I feel like I’m too damaged to mother my kids well.  If only they’d been born to someone with more patience, more energy, more whatever.  I suspect I’m not the only one who feels less-than.
But friends, your kids don’t need a better mom.

Your kids don’t need a better mom. They need you.

They need messy, imperfect, sometimes cranky, you.

They don’t need you to have it all together.  They need you to show them that it’s okay not to have it all together.

They don’t need you to have all the answers.  They need to see you ask questions and make mistakes and do your best.

They don’t need you to do it all.  They need to watch you prioritize, simplify, and do your best to figure out this thing called life.

They don’t need you to do it alone.  They need to see that it’s okay to reach out for help.
Your kids don’t need you to never make mistakes, but they do need to see you humbly ask forgiveness and rise again when you fall.

That child that the creator of the universe put in your care?  That tiny heart you have the privilege of shaping and nurturing and watching grow?  They don’t need a better mom.  They need you. Messy, imperfect, real, beautiful you.

You, with your flaws and your insecurities and your messy bun.

You, with your mistakes and your hurts and your uncertainties.

You, with your stretch marks and your disorganized spice drawer and the gnawing fear that you might be messing them up beyond anything therapy can repair.

Above all, they need you.

All that pressure to be all and do all?  To be perfect? To have it together? Friend, can we lay that down today?

You are rocking this.

As long as your kids are safe and loved and you are showing up for them, you are rocking this mama thing.

This hard, sacred, messy mama thing.

You are rocking this, mama.

Keep on rocking this, mama.

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