Radical Simplicity and a Beautiful, Messy Life

10 Things I Gained by Unfriending Everyone on Facebook

Desk with computer


I recently left facebook.   Not entirely, I still have an account so that I can manage my blog's page and my super awesome facebook group Radical Simplicity  I can still follow pages and groups that inspire the life I want to lead, but I unfriended everyone.  I have zero facebook friends.

My news feed is full of articles from my favourite bloggers, posts in facebook groups that I really value, and the occasional advertisement.  I spend a fraction of the time on it than I once did. 

This may sound a tad dramatic, but it has seriously already been life changing.  

Here are 10 things I've gained by unfriending my facebook friends:


1. Less Distraction

Since leaving facebook, my productivity has been THROUGH. THE. FRIGGEN. ROOF.  I think there might be more hours in the day now.  Is that a thing?  I had no idea how much time I was wasting on facebook until I gave it up.


2. More focus on real relationship

Last week I sat in coffee shops on two separate occasions with two separate friends, sharing about our lives and struggles and joys.  I text often with my closest friends, and last weekend I had a phone conversation (like, actually talked on the telephone.  Apparently that's still a thing) with a dear friend.  The friendships that matter most aren't affected much by my choice to leave facebook, because the real friends will reach out beyond social media to spend time with me.  I'm at a stage in my life where I need quality over quantity in my relationships.

3. Less crowd sourcing my life.

Since leaving facebook I've become aware of how often I asked my facebook friends for advice and input.  While there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors, there is also something to be said for just figuring out the next right thing and doing it.


4. More going to God first

 A wise friend of mine likes to say "Have you prayed about it more than you talk about it?"  Since leaving facebook it has become clear to me how often I went straight to the internet to complain about things.  Instead, I'm now forced to take those concerns to God.


5. Less cliques, gossip and drama.

This was one of my driving reasons for leaving in the first place.  People often behave on FB in ways that they never would to your face.  I decided to leave behind the drama and seek meaningful real-life relationships.


6. More social interactions in public.

When waiting in a doctor's office or at a bus stop it was my habit to dissappear into the land of facebook.  Now I'm forced to have awkward conversations with the people around me, or atleast to see them and smile!


7. Less comparison.

Comparison is the thief of Joy.  And it is so easy to see other people's photos of their clean homes or their happy relationships or their expensive vacations and feel a sense of discontentment.  No matter how authentic and real people intend to be on social media, their financial stress and the dirt under their sofa and their puking kids don't land in our news feeds.  We end up comparing our insides to their outsides, and our messy life to their Sunday best.  No facebook friends means I'm not evaluating my life based on unattainable metrics anymore.  I'm too busy building the meaningful life I want for myself and my family.


8. More journaling and self reflection. 

My epiphanies don't go on facebook anymore, they go in my journal where they belong.


9. Less arguing.

I'm feisty.  And I find it hard not to attend every argument in my newsfeed.  Even when I refrained from chiming in, the argument was happening in my head!  By opting out of facebook friends all together I have more serenity and can focus more on positive things.

10. More sleep.

Facebook doesn't tempt me with the hypnotizing pull of one more scroll of the thumb anymore.  I don't lay in bed with my phone in my hand, taking in other people's lives.


The Verdict

Since de-friending my facebook list I have been way more in-tune with what I'm feeling and why.  I don't have a million tiny interactions a day sending my emotions and self-esteem on a roller coaster ride. I'm busy taking care of myself and my family, pouring into my friends, and crushing my goals.

My experience is that less social media equals more emotional health and better focus.  I'm busy keeping my own side of the street clean, instead of monitoring yours.  I'm refreshed and motivated.

Guys, the only thing I regret is not doing this sooner!



psst... Let's stay connected.  If you decide to break up with facebook like I did, why not follow me on pinterest, instagram, twitter, or sign up for my weekly newsletter.



4 comments

  1. Love reading this. I hopped off Facebook last month and felt like the chatter in my head quieted down. I signed back on a few days ago and the internal dialogue (most of which never leaves me head and even goes onto Facebook, though it is certainly prompted by Facebook), started up immediately. I was particularly glad to be off when the shootings in Florida happened. I am neither helped nor helpful when I read more and more and more articles about the NRA, Marco Rubio, etc etc.

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    1. Taking a month off facebook to clear your head is a great idea! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

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  2. Great article. I got off Facebook years ago and have not regretted it. When my son passed away, I was shown a Facebook page in order to get an address and send a thank-you card. As I perused the page I became depressed. The person had been on a cruise, traveled to NY, etc. I compared my life with their's. Not a good idea, esp when grieving.

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  3. Well, I’m usually late to the party, but now I’m here! Facebook is a huge time robber! I unfriendly a bunch of people, then deleted Facebook from my IPad! I redownloaded it a few days ago because there are a few “lovies” that I really enjoy seeing their posts! Mostly, when I do post something, it’s either funny, yummy or informative and I pop in and out just long enough to read comments! Since I’m disabled and don’t leave the house much, it’s really one of the only ways I communicate with the outside world! I’m very addicted to my electronics and I’m working daily to let go and let God!

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