Radical Simplicity and a Beautiful, Messy Life

Your Kids Don't Need A Better Mom

It's hard to be a mom in 2018.

I imagine it has always been hard to be a mom.  But today there is pressure that I know our mom's never felt. Pressure to throw pinterest-worthy birthday parties that are a far cry from the plastic pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey and boxed cake mixes of my youth.  Pressure to be constantly present and emotionally available even though nobody is emotionally available every second of the day.  Pressure to have pristine homes, and healthy trash-free lunches, and natural handmade toys.

It is so easy to start feeling inadequate.

Sometimes I feel like I'm too damaged to mother my kids well.  If only they'd been born to someone with more patience, more energy, more whatever.  I suspect I'm not the only one who feels less-than.

But friends, your kids don't need a better mom. They need you.

They need messy, imperfect, sometimes cranky, you.

They don't need you to have it all together.  They need you to show them that it's okay not to have it all together.

They don't need you to have all the answers.  They need to see you ask questions and make mistakes and do your best.

They don't need you to do it all.  They need to watch you prioritize, simplify, and do your best to figure out this thing called life.

They don't need you to do it  alone.  They need to see that it's okay to reach out for help.

Your kids don't need you to never make mistakes, they need to see you humbly ask forgiveness and rise again when you fall.

That child that the creator of the universe put in your care?  That tiny heart you have the privilege of shaping and nurturing and watching grow?  They don't need a better mom.  They need you. Messy, imperfect, real, beautiful you.

You, with your flaws and your insecurities and your messy bun.

You, with your mistakes and your hurts and your uncertainties.

You, with your stretch marks and your disorganized spice drawer, and the gnawing fear that you might be messing them up.

They need you.

All that pressure to be all and do all?  To be perfect? To have it together? Friend, can we lay that down today?

Because as long as your kids are safe and loved and you are showing up for them, you are rocking this mama thing.

This hard, sacred, messy mama thing.

You are rocking this, mama.

Keep on rocking this, mama.

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  1. Definitely a good thing to keep reminding ourselves. <3

  2. I needed this today more than you will ever know. I'm fighting my demons these last few days. I have nothing left to give, and in every aspect of my life I'm falling behind. Staying near Jesus is all that is holding me together right now, and it took me too long to figure that out. I think He must have put this article on your heart. Thank you.

    1. Thanks for your kind words, Candice. Hang in there. In you were created to do hard things! :)

  3. This brought tears to my eyes. I hope my daughter (who is 21 now) sees me like this. Sometimes I wonder if she does, or if she thinks I have failed her.
    Thanks for the post.

  4. There is a certain sense that parenting has become harder,
    I had my first in 2000, my 2nd (2013) and 3rd in 2015, and the biggest challenge between these years is the rise of the internet for creating the picture of the perfect mum. It was definitely easier in 2000 without images of others lives, and social media bombarding me every day. There was less stuff about how you could "damage" your children.
    My oldest has seen a lot of my weakness and I think its helped keep us communicating also through the teenage years