August 10, 2015
A Hundred Million Things Other than Fat

A Hundred Million Things Other than Fat

August 10, 2015

I am plus sized, heavy, overweight. I am a fat girl. I am 80 pounds over my suggested weight range, and within a few pounds of the heaviest I've ever been. You know what else I am?

I am a girl who can make you laugh. 
And a girl who can laugh at herself.
I am a girl who will help you move,
Who is pretty much always available for a friend In need.

I am a girl who loves all things coffee and christmas and caramel,
Documentaries and poetry,
Colour, contrast,
And clean simple lines.

I am a good mother,
A mediocre daughter,
A bad liar,
A wife.
A truth teller, 
Who sometimes lies to herself.

I can write,
Sew, crochet and bake,
Refinish furniture,
Operate power tools,
fold a fitted sheet,
Make a kick ass lasagne.
I have a powerful right hook.

I wear what I want, 
Leggings, large prints, horizontal strips,
Tattoos and piercings, 
And I rock them with confidence, 
some of the time. 

I am a bubbly introvert.
I wear my heart on my sleeve,
feel emotion intensely,
cry at the drop of a hat, 
and surprise myself with how well I respond in a crisis. 

I throw great parties, 
Invite too many people,
obsess over the wrong details,
leave things to the last minute.
But it works out anyways.

I change my mind. A lot. 

I am a Christian, 
A minimalist,
Probably a pacifist.
Maybe a socialist, 
Definitely not a republican.
I can quote scripture and poetry and Kurt Cobain's suicide letter.

I am awkward, and okay with it.
I laugh at my own jokes,
fall up stairs,
and sometimes spit when I talk. 

I give great hugs. 

I am a missionary,
An activist in a thousand tiny ways, 
I am a sister, an aunt, 
An avid reader, and a bible college drop out.

I am a sexual assault survivor,
A feminist,
A recovering drug addict.

I like to smoke cigars on the porch on summer evenings. 
And dine with great friends and good wine,
And swim alone at night.

I talk when I'm nervous,
stand firm when I'm afraid, 
love fiercely when it hurts.
I am regularly a contradiction,
still figuring things out.
But I know this:

I am a hundred million things other than fat. 

You and I, my friend? We are hundred million things.  And what we see in the mirror is the least interesting of them all. 



Will you take a moment to follow me on facebook, twitter, or instagram? And thank you for reading my words, I'm honoured.
August 8, 2015
Please Don't Be Nice {A Letter to my Kids}

Please Don't Be Nice {A Letter to my Kids}

August 8, 2015


Dear Kids,

Your whole lives up until now I have told you to be nice. I would like to retract that.

Most the time I said it for lack of a better word.
 "Be nice to your sister."
 Hitting isn't nice."
 "Share, it's the nice thing to do."
 But nice was never the right word. 

The Dictionary says that nice means pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. Kids, don't be satisfactory. Be extraordinary. Be bold. Be passionate. Be fearless if you can. Be just and wise and steadfast. And in doing so, I assure you, some people will find you quite unpleasant and disagreeable. 

Be self-controlled. Be peacable. Be charitable. Be warm, accepting, genuine. But please, not nice. 

Nice is a counterfeit of Love. It's weak. It may look like love, but it lacks substance. And like any counterfeit the person who is left holding it has been robbed of the real thing. 

My hope for you is a holy discontentment. A soul dis-ease that won't allow you be nice at the expense of doing the right thing. 

The world needs more prophets. More truth speakers. More humilty, vulnerability, and courage. The world needs people who are stubborn about all the right things.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you to be brash and angry and loveless.  The bible tells us to speak the truth in love, because the biggest truth about each person you meet is that they are fiercely loved by their creator, are of infinite worth and value. Any truth that is not impregnated with that love is a lie. Without love you become a clanging cymbal. So love bravely and boldly. Love extravagantly. 

But, kids, please don't be nice.



Will you take a moment to follow me on facebook, twitter, or instagram? And thank you for reading my words, I'm honoured.
What I want you to know about Homelessness

What I want you to know about Homelessness



What I want you to know about homelessness is that even those of us that chose it didn't feel like we had much of a choice.

That many of us need far more than just a home, but support, counselling, acceptance, someone who loves us just the way we are. 

That it has its perks: answering to nobody, good panhandling days. 

And it's terrifying.  Every. Single. Day.

It stinks, literally. That bench you're sleeping on got pissed on last night. 

What I want you to know about homelessness is that takes many forms. It can be a tent in the woods or a series of friends couches or emergency shelters or the back of a truck. 

That when you're homeless, meeting your basic needs can be an arduous task. Finding a place to sleep, food to eat, even a place to pee, is complicated. 

What I want you to know about homelessness is that sometimes we don't have any bootstraps left to pull ourselves up by.

That we may have burnt bridges, squandered opportunities, learned destructive patterns of behaviour. But that's not who we are. We are all so much more than the mistakes that we've made.

What I want you to know about homelessness is that it can happen to you. I know soccer moms and church elders and youth group leaders who encountered addiction or mental illness or family breakdowns and lost everything. 

What I want you to know is that the opposite of homelessness is NOT just having a place to live. The opposite of homelessness is relationship, community, friendship, support, and justice.

I want you to know that friends don't let friends sleep on park benches. And neighbours don't let neighbours move into their car. That when we build community we are doing a small and precious part to reduce homelessness. 

What I want you to know about homelessness is that you have the power to change it. In the million small ways you interact with your culture every day and sow seeds and affirm or challenge assumptions. In a million ways everyday we can send the message that every life matters, that nobody should have to sleep on piss stained concrete, that community is a part of the human design. 

You can do small things with great love and make a difference. 

What I want you to know about homelessness is that it doesn't diminish a persons worth. Everyone deserves dignity, respect, options, and hope.



Will you take a moment to follow me on facebook, twitter, or instagram? And thank you for reading my words, I'm honoured.