August 10, 2015
I am plus sized, heavy, overweight. I am a fat girl. I am 80 pounds over my suggested weight range, and within a few pounds of the heaviest I've ever been. You know what else I am?
I am a girl who can make you laugh.
And a girl who can laugh at herself.
I am a girl who will help you move,
Who is pretty much always available for a friend In need.
I am a girl who loves all things coffee and christmas and caramel,
Documentaries and poetry,
And clean simple lines.
I am a good mother,
A mediocre daughter,
A bad liar,
A truth teller,
Who sometimes lies to herself.
I can write,
Sew, crochet and bake,
Operate power tools,
fold a fitted sheet,
Make a kick ass lasagne.
I have a powerful right hook.
I wear what I want,
Leggings, large prints, horizontal strips,
Tattoos and piercings,
And I rock them with confidence,
some of the time.
I am a bubbly introvert.
I wear my heart on my sleeve,
feel emotion intensely,
cry at the drop of a hat,
and surprise myself with how well I respond in a crisis.
I throw great parties,
Invite too many people,
obsess over the wrong details,
leave things to the last minute.
But it works out anyways.
I change my mind. A lot.
I am a Christian,
Probably a pacifist.
Maybe a socialist,
Definitely not a republican.
I can quote scripture and poetry and Kurt Cobain's suicide letter.
I am awkward, and okay with it.
I laugh at my own jokes,
fall up stairs,
and sometimes spit when I talk.
I give great hugs.
I am a missionary,
An activist in a thousand tiny ways,
I am a sister, an aunt,
An avid reader, and a bible college drop out.
I am a sexual assault survivor,
A recovering drug addict.
I like to smoke cigars on the porch on summer evenings.
And dine with great friends and good wine,
And swim alone at night.
I talk when I'm nervous,
stand firm when I'm afraid,
love fiercely when it hurts.
I am regularly a contradiction,
still figuring things out.
But I know this:
I am a hundred million things other than fat.
You and I, my friend? We are hundred million things. And what we see in the mirror is the least interesting of them all.