Radical Simplicity and a Beautiful, Messy Life

Please Don't Be Nice {A Letter to my Kids}

Dear Kids,

Your whole lives up until now I have told you to be nice. I would like to retract that.

Most the time I said it for lack of a better word.
 "Be nice to your sister."
 Hitting isn't nice."
 "Share, it's the nice thing to do."
 But nice was never the right word. 

The Dictionary says that nice means pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. Kids, don't be satisfactory. Be extraordinary. Be bold. Be passionate. Be fearless if you can. Be just and wise and steadfast. And in doing so, I assure you, some people will find you quite unpleasant and disagreeable. 

Be self-controlled. Be peacable. Be charitable. Be warm, accepting, genuine. But please, not nice. 

Nice is a counterfeit of Love. It's weak. It may look like love, but it lacks substance. And like any counterfeit the person who is left holding it has been robbed of the real thing. 

My hope for you is a holy discontentment. A soul dis-ease that won't allow you be nice at the expense of doing the right thing. 

The world needs more prophets. More truth speakers. More humilty, vulnerability, and courage. The world needs people who are stubborn about all the right things.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you to be brash and angry and loveless.  The bible tells us to speak the truth in love, because the biggest truth about each person you meet is that they are fiercely loved by their creator, are of infinite worth and value. Any truth that is not impregnated with that love is a lie. Without love you become a clanging cymbal. So love bravely and boldly. Love extravagantly. 

But, kids, please don't be nice.

Will you take a moment to follow me on facebook, twitter, or instagram? And thank you for reading my words, I'm honoured.


  1. Thank you for the courage to put this into words and make it public. I know I'll be reading this again.

  2. Yes! Love this. Live boldly and powerfully, don't be nice and submissive. Don't jut accept contentment, live fully taking risks and forging a way. This is what we want for Baby Boy, too! :)

  3. I have had this opinion of niceness for years now. Couldn't agree more. We should be friends. :)

  4. I've missed you, Kelly! Your blog has been a light and encouragement to me for years. Thank you, Catharine

  5. Your blog is a light for me. Thank you


  6. thank you for your sharing , i love kid :)
    Comment by : hoc nghe bep and day nau an

  7. Wonderful words and it's TRUTH. Mine are 15-21 and they're truth speakers.